The Third Order of the Institute of the Incarnate Word (IVE) brings together lay people who follow a rather diffuse spirituality and without a clearly defined hierarchy. Many of these lay people are fathers and mothers of priests and religious of both the IVE and the Servants of the Lord and of the Virgin of Matará (SSVM). In fact, there is almost an automatic enrollment for the fathers and mothers of members of the IVE in this Third Order. Unlike other more traditional Third Orders, there seems to be no formal register of members or common organizational processes, such as the election of presidents or secretaries. This lack of structure is another characteristic of the mamarrachismo typical of buelismo.
Rejection by parents: a sectarian phenomenon
A serious phenomenon that can be observed in this context is the rejection that some of these parents exercise towards their own sons and daughters when they decide to abandon the priesthood or religious life. This reaction, far from being a simple disappointment, implies a profound rejection, a reflection of a strong sectarianism that predominates in certain environments of the Third Order.
A paradigmatic case is that of a couple from San Rafael, Mendoza – he a doctor and she a mother – of the highest reputation, one of those that Buela transferred from Buenos Aires. They had two priest sons destined for missions abroad. Both sons decided to leave the priesthood, the eldest (J. “junior”) several years ago. The younger son (we will call him “Benjamin”) was clearly a person who was not made for priestly life; however, the Incarnate Word brainwashed him to enter the seminary, and he decided to enter in just one week. During his stay in the congregation, Benjamin had a life more as a layman than as a religious and priest. Benjamin recently left the priesthood and recently returned to Argentina accompanied by his partner, and his family, who were once proud of him, now show him and his partner a silence that expresses their grievance.
Another exemplary case is that of two ladies from the province of Mendoza, first cousins and both now octogenarians, who had daughters in the Servants of the Lord and the Virgin of Matará. These two women, who were previously like sisters, stopped talking to each other when one of the daughters decided to leave the SSVM. The family breakdown was almost total, demonstrating how rejection can fracture even the closest relationships.
A third case is that of the family we will call Arieugerrad. The eldest son of this family entered the IVE seminary, to leave a few years later, when he was still a seminarian. For years, he received no communication from his family. In addition, a daughter of this family left the contemplative life of the SSVM to become romantically united to an IVE priest, a situation that also generated significant family tensions. To this day, parents cannot forgive that situation.
This type of behavior is analogous to that observed in Muslim communities where daughters who decide to marry outside their community or to a person not accepted by the father or older brother also suffer total rejection. In both cases, rigidity and social control destroy the basic bond of blood and family, generating a sectarianism that is deeply harmful.
Consequences and the need for change
Sectarianism here implies a doctrinal and social rigidity that considers leaving the ministry or religious life as a betrayal or an unforgivable failure, generating an environment of exclusion and family breakdown that can be devastating.
These cases show the urgent need for a cultural change within the Third Order, which fosters understanding, respect and sincere accompaniment without prejudice or exclusion.
Only in this way will it be possible to move towards a truly fraternal and human community, far from sectarianism and exclusion.
We urge the laity of the IVE to wake up and react to this reality that destroys families and lives, so that they can build a more human, welcoming and free community.
Leave a Reply