Leaving a cult is not simply moving away from a group: it is, in many cases, rebuilding oneself from scratch. Many victims of spiritual, psychological or even physical abuse by sectarian groups choose not to come forward publicly. They are often kept anonymous, and this should not be interpreted as cowardice, but as part of a deep and painful process of healing. Here we explore the most frequent reasons behind this decision.
1. Shame and internalized guilt
Cults are experts in emotional manipulation. One of their most effective tactics is to make the victim feel that what they are experiencing is their fault. Even after leaving, many people feel ashamed of “having fallen,” preferring to keep silent to avoid external judgment.
2. Fear of retaliation
Some groups operate with mafia-like dynamics: they intimidate, threaten, defame or emotionally blackmail those who denounce them. The fear of being persecuted, harassed or even sued leads many victims to opt for anonymity.
3. Loss of meaningful relationships
Leaving a cult usually means losing the affective network built within the group. Speaking out publicly can close the door to possible reconciliation with family members or friends who still remain inside.
4. Unresolved trauma
Many victims suffer from post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). Talking about what we have experienced reopens wounds. Instead of exposing themselves publicly, they choose to protect themselves emotionally by remaining silent.
5. Lack of listening and validation
When a victim is encouraged to speak, they often find phrases such as “How did you let yourself be deceived?”, “You must have exaggerated” or “I went and nothing happened to me”. This lack of empathy can retraumatize and make them prefer to remain silent rather than expose themselves to discredit.
6. Internal reconstruction process
Leaving a sect implies relearning to think, to decide and to trust. Public testimony requires having gone through an internal process that takes time. Not everyone is prepared to speak out loud about what they have experienced.
7. Lack of institutional or legal support
Spiritual abuses are not always recognized by law. Many people feel that reporting will be of no use because there is no legal framework to protect them or institutions to support them.
8. Residual emotional loyalty
Even outside the group, some people still feel affection for members of the community or for the ideals they shared. Badmouthing the group can be perceived as betrayal, and many victims prefer not to hurt those they once loved or admired.
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